Dear Diary: Quarantine Edition, Part 4

Quarantine Day 16:

We started the day with a walk on the Bill Klingner Trail which was perhaps the most pleasant thing I’ve experienced in the last two weeks. It’s beautiful and a perfect place to get your head right. We took the dog AND the cat because contrary to popular belief, cat strollers are AWESOME.

My birthday is tomorrow so when Jeff was out getting groceries this morning, he said he picked up a few presents for me. Should I be concerned that the only other place he went was Farm and Home? Can’t wait to open up my new pipe wrench and tackle box! Or maybe he got me muck boots? Some bandannas? The options are endless.

This evening, right after I had finished scrubbing the floor, a jar of salsa fell out of the fridge and broke, making the kitchen look like a crime scene. In my frustration, I said some wildly inappropriate things and Jeff told me to calm down, so it almost turned into a real crime scene. But don’t worry: No Jeffs were injured in the making of this post.

Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
Wash Your Hands.

Quarantine Day 17:

I had the okayest birthday possible during a plague when you can’t be around family and friends. Thankfully, I didn’t get any tractor parts but I am the proud owner of 4 taco plates! The girls gave me a giant card they made and a geode they found in the creek behind our house that only took 11 of my socks to break open. Also, Jeff bought more whiskey for my smoothies. I appreciate all the messages and posts and texts and calls.

I think it was Mark Twain that said, “If life gives you social distancing, lose your pants, eat cake, and drink.” Or was that Abraham Lincoln? Idk. Either way, thank you everyone!

We now return to our regularly scheduled hand-washing.

P.S. Jeff got me a bird feeder too. It’s fine.

Quarantine Day 18:

30. More. Days.

It’s fine. I’m fine. We’re fine.

To prepare for the month ahead, I ordered some provisions:

  • 8 – LEGO sets
  • 2 – leisure bras
  • 7 – boxed wine
  • 1 – noise canceling headphones
  • ? – smoothie whiskey
  • 6 – notepads for list making
  • 5 – pairs of leggings
  • 1 – quarantine nanny

Knock-knock.

Who’s there?

Wash Your Hands.

Wash Your Hands Who?

No seriously, just wash your hands.

Quarantine Day 19:

Today was perhaps the least hectic day we’ve had. (Read that in a whisper, I don’t want to jinx it.) I raised my voice a minimal amount and the girls got through some school work. They are both clearly ahead of me in math skills but I’ve still got them beat in spelling and English Lit, so BOO-YA.

I played volleyball with Laina this afternoon, which is to say, my face hurts. She has decided she wants to practice everyday for the rest of the quarantine. She’s also decided that I suck. She’s not wrong. But if she wants me to help, I’ll try. And the ball will probably hit my face, but only the first 20 or 30 times. Because things don’t get easier, we get better at them.*

This staying home and washing our hands stuff, for example…We should all be experts soon.

*I will definitely not get better at volleyball.

Quarantine Day 20:

I think it’s funny that clothing stores have found a way to capitalize on the whole COVID-19 phenomenon by marketing their leisure wear and “Cozy at Home” fashion lines. I think it’s even funnier how fast I fell for it. I hate regular clothes shopping sooooo much but stuck-in-the-house clothes are my jam! My wardrobe and I are ready for some serious social distancing. (Shh! Don’t tell Jeff.)

The kids made up a dance routine tonight, and bless their little hearts, it included the actual Macarena. I think it must be some remix TikTok shenanigans but for a just a few seconds, we were in the mid-90’s again and everything was okay.

Ashway ouryay andshay.

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