Have you ever had a moment that was so incredibly perfect it scared the hell out of you? It scared you because you knew it was the kind of moment that you’re always looking for, one that matters more than anything else in the whole world? Because you know nothing is permanent, good or bad and it wouldn’t take anything at all to turn that moment of perfection upside down? And because it was almost over before you even realized it was happening?
I had such a moment one morning last week. I was drinking the best latte I have ever made while helping our oldest daughter to paint pictures of peacocks. Peacocks! My husband was reading a story to our youngest child who was being very sweet and cuddly. We were all still in our pajamas and the TV was off. We had nothing else we needed to be doing. When I realized all of this, for a split second, I felt pure, unadulterated joy. Then I immediately started to panic as I realized this was IT. THE moment I’m always looking for but can rarely find. The house was clean, we were all getting along, and doing what we enjoyed. There was no rush to hurry and get to the next Very Important Thing. No dance class, no karate, no errands to run. No freaking IKEA furniture to assemble. No committee meetings, no paperwork or bills to pay. And this glorious moment of perfection was already almost over. In fact a moment on the extreme other end of the spectrum was just about to begin, a more typical moment that included crying, raised voices, and uncooperative behavior. Worse yet, I spilled the rest of my latte.
Later on, scrubbing coffee out of the carpet, I thought back fondly to that one moment in time, that one moment when all was right. There would be more such moments, I knew. And I would consider myself fortunate to recognize them before they were over.