No thank you, I’ve had enough coffee for today.
Come on, I’ll race you!
Sweetie, you must have had a long day. Sit down, put your feet up, let me get you a beer.
Can I hold your baby?
There are just too many books in our house.
This (any item at T.J. Maxx) is so cute! But I don’t need it.
You know what we really need? More kids.
Honey, I folded all the laundry AND put it away!
…and then I voluntarily jumped out of the airplane…
If you need someone to help delouse your children, I’m free tomorrow afternoon.
Let me make the Thanksgiving turkey this year. No really, I insist!
I wish you wouldn’t spend so much money on me dear, your presence is gift enough.
With mushrooms, please.
I’m running a little ahead of schedule.
Can I have a smaller piece? That one has way too much frosting on it.
Well, if it’s just a stomach bug, come on over!
Honey, you’re being entirely too attentive. I wish you’d spend more time playing games on your phone.
I can’t believe how cheap this Range Rover was!
Do you mind if we meet earlier than that? I really prefer to start my day at sunrise.
I’m going to go mow the lawn now.
I love math!
Gosh, I have more PTO than I could ever possibly use!
I just wish I was wearing pants right now.
How about I stay home with the kids and you take a two week golf vacation?
I finally have enough pairs of eyeglasses.
What’s that, Justin Timberlake? You want to bring sexy back? I can’t, I’m married.
Boxed wine? Please, I have standards.
Get that adorable baby goat wearing a tiny sweater out of my sight at once!